I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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