PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
