yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
false alarm. still invincible.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
