You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize