I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
