susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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