dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
