just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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