How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
