when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
