ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
