the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
