What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
