I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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