Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize