People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
