I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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