I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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