belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
