I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
