Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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