but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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