i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
