You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize