I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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