Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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