so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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