ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
