Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Plan B is the new Plan A
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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