You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
