somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
