I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
