I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
