U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize