every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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