I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
