Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
