no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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