Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
