I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is wine microwaveable?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
