I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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