Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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