Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
