I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Houston, we have a squirter
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
