He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
