Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
