can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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