I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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