Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
