My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
