I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
