you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love having hate sex.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
