U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
