Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize