So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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