Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize