i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
