The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
