Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize