Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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