By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
